Expect The Unexpected When You Almost Reach Out

Been very unlucky today...didn't know what's up with it. Will it be Karma?I dont think so...we done nothing wrong indeed.First thing...last Friday..i took photos of me and my friends in school,its the last year we are in that school..and after that..today i decided to develope the film,so..after finish up the film the camera will automactically rewind by itself.When i open the camera to take out the role..it actually never rewind finish! My mom and brother said.."it's all gone..the film been exposed.."I was like..."what the hell.....!!" Heck...i was flabbergasted!No words..totally speechless.Then later i followed my brother to see Mas,she's working in the Pakard Photo Shop,to check out what's wrong with the film.She said that the end of the film got a lil bit bend..so it cant rewind finish. "yea ok..a bend...so what now???Gone??!?" She said she'll check it out later..Damn..how could that happen?Gosh...i can curse for the whole day if i want too.**&&^%*^$%
*Beep**BeeP**$^&%...Oppss..over reacting pulak.

Ok..that's my part...now my dad's.His car was broke in by some 'bastards' i guess..he stole a POLO watch which dont belong to him..it's my dad's friend.Some cash was gone too...WTF man...
Dont he ever get enough from my dad's car?He once took all the 'syilings'.."did i spell it corect...i was too lazy to check on my dictionary" and now he go for notes! We suspect that its from the same person. 'Die In Hell man..'

Streamyz was totally sucks...what's wrong with the connection man.It goes on and off....server down or what?I was chatting with someone on MSN and it suddenly went of..and the worst part was..when im blogging the other day..the connection went off and i was unaware of it so after i've finish my entry i click Publish Post as usual and it suddenly came out "Sorry the page is not found"...dammit..and i try to connect back..but failed.My entry was gone!Bummers..

I've cut my hair..its rather short.Its weird..totally weird.

We definitely going to miss each other.....

ps=try to find me..LOL...click on the photo for a bigger view.

The Girl is what she is
The Girl try not to be bossy
The Girl try not to be silly
The Girl try not to be foolish
But the Girl try to be persistent

The Girl always wanted some attention
The Girl always wanted some benevolent
The Girl always wanted some serenity
But the Girl always botched to be that someone

The Girl created happiness around
The Girl created sadness around
The Girl created bliss and thrill around
The Girl created poems that dont rhyme
But the Girl have yet not creat herself

Seriously I dont have any idea on how to start my entry today...It just seems that out of sudden i am not satisfied at all the things that happened and things around me.Maybe It's just my egotistic playing in my lifeless mind and for some reason,i easily get annoyed by many things that i shouldn't be annoyed of.I've finally found my really bad side of 'The Me'...damn..what's wrong with me..People around me did mentioned that i dont get mad easily..but i do get mad of them..i just try to be rational and optimistic...and i can tell that most of them love taking advantage on me.They think that im so dumb and are not aware of it...they think that I am the 'everything is nevermind' fellow..they think that i'm not matured enough..they think that i love to be making fun of...they think that i'm brainless...and maybe some even think that i'm blind or deaf...But maybe its good to be blind so that i dont have to see all the destructions made by cruel,selfish,dim-witted and foolish human being.Even the smokers are getting on my nerves..every puff they took will destroy one innocent and naive little fellow without their awareness.Sad to say..my dad is a smoker...but hey..i cant hate him..he's my one and only dad and i'm his one and only princess...

Went to Sentral just now for dinner..ate at this Nasi Kandang restaurant..i've ordered the Nasi Briyani and to my surprise..i actually not satisfied on what im eating for my dinner..After that..i decided to buy a new glasses as mine is almost 'crooked' and scratches..I was in that shop for quite long as i cant make up my mind on which glasses that i want.In the end I've picked the one that im not satisfied with..and thanks mom...i get no help from you.. The worker was very friendly indeed and she said that the glasses that i picked is nice..and the colour is trendy..But for some reason..I DONT THINK SO...What ever it is...the glasses will be ready by next week..if its so not my type of glasses..I'll use my own saving to buy a new one some other time...

The new shopping,Mydin, just open today..and damn..it's pack with people.I went there with Zet after my add math tuition just now and later went with my parents..The fact is..Mydin is way better than Y&W shopping.Didn't know whether Y&W will last long or not.But one thing im not satisfied of Mydin is..it's too cramp in there.It's like there's too many things...I went to search on clothes..but dont have any..only baju kurungs and bras' ..yea bras'..there's plenty of em'.

One last thing that im not satisfied of is..or maybe its not the last..there's plenty of em'..the thing is my hair..found out recently that i have split ends...and so i think that im going to get a new hair cut soon..and i hope that i wont be 'so not satisfied' again after i've cut my hair.It's so weird..as now im seeing many negative stuffs infront of my eyes everywhere i go.Even in tuition..Damn..why cant the teacher be in class on time...In schools..i see more annoying girls around.Living a life isn't easy.

What??Coco Lee??My god..




















Now...Ashanti?Ermm..southern European..
not bad hur...LOL




















Our dearly Miss Sharyn(beruk)...100%pure chinese...Lucy Liu..haha..(the next Charlie Angel...=P)


















Ooopss..what happen to our Miss Sharyn?

Personality Profile:
You particularly enjoy the traditional way of life. Having drinks with your friends, attending parties and relaxing while watching TV are some of the simple pleasures you indulge in. You may also enjoy physical exercise. Your driving force is to retire as early as possible, so that you can do the things you enjoy more often. Your main source of ambition comes from this desire. You dont particularly like your job but you do it without complaining. You realize that the income that it provides is essential to your lifestyle. You are friendly yet competitive with your co-workers. This competitiveness may lead you to squander your earnings to match other peoples' possessions. You operate most effectively when there is a set power structure, and the lines of authority are clear. You know your place in the ranks, you play by the rules, and will deliver what is expected of you. You do not care for responsibility; you would rather be care free.


Its's so weird...haha=)

In 1980, David Lynch's masterpiece The Elephant Man was released. The film told the story of
John Merrick, a tragically deformed yet charming and intelligent Englishman. When it hit the screens in the 80s, it became a cult hit with sufferers of neurofibromatosis, the disease that the Elephant Man was thought to have had. Previously, it was though that he suffered from elephantiasis, a tropical disease causes by parasites in the bloodstream. However, it was suggested in 1979 that Merrick had Proteus syndrome or "Elephant Man's Disease", which causes abnormal, unchecked growth of bones, skin, and other systems. Fewer than 100 cases of Proteus have been recorded, while NF occurs in one in every 4,000 births. No condition has ever produced a degree of deformity equivalent to Merrick's. The Elephant Man was, in fact, named Joseph Carey Merrick. He is often called John because in the memoirs of Dr. Frederick Treves, Merrick's doctor, the name was deliberately changed to John. No one is sure why; it is suggested that Treves was merely senile.

Joseph Carey Merrick was born in Leicester, England in 1862. He began growing disfiguring tumors before the age of two and his condition rapidly worsened, rendering one of his arms completely useless. Nevertheless, he was described as a wonderfully imaginative and intelligent boy. When Joseph was 11, his mother, Mary Jane, who was also physically handicapped, died, and Joseph's father remarried. Joseph's stepmother was not nearly as compassionate as his mother, and she even gave Joseph's father an ultimatum: "Joseph, or me." The young Joseph was cast out of the home and went to live at the Leicester Union Workhouse, and sold shoe polish on the street. However, he was constantly taunted by crowds of cruel children and soon moved on to another line of work. Joseph became a sideshow freak: The Elephant Man, so-called for the roughness of his skin and a facial deformity that was said to resemble a trunk. Merrick's caretaker was Tom Norman, who was a far cry from the monster portrayed in the movie. Norman cared genuinely for Merrick, who was quite a success as a freak. Merrick accumulated 200 pounds, a large sum of money at the time. Sadly, he was robbed by an Austrian showman who was not connected with Norman, and left stranded in Belgium.

Returning home from Belgium, Merrick was discovered in the Liverpool train station by Dr. Frederick Treves, who had previously seen Merrick on display in a medical school. Merrick was suffering from bronchitis and malnutrition, and Treves brought him back to the Whitechapel Hospital. The hospital became Merrick's permanent home; in his room he wrote poetry and prose and built models from card stock, his most famous being of the St. Philip's cathedral. While the film suggests he built the model from the view from his window, it is likely he studied architectural drawings of the church.
Merrick died in his sleep in 1890. Nearly all of his body was preserved, though most of the specimens have been lost. His skeleton is still in a museum in Britain (it is not, nor ever was, owned by Michael Jackson).

A drawing of "The Elephant Man"

The skull

Heard about this Elephant Man in school just now...Mrs Tan Lay Heong,my Moral teacher was talking about this show she watched on TV quite long ago and it suddenly struck into my head "I've seen this movie before too" but can't really remember or be sure whether it was the related movie or not.

"'Tis true my form is something odd,

but blaming me is blaming god.

Could I create myself anew,

I would not fail in pleasing you.

Was I so tall,

could reach the pole,

or grasp the ocean with a span;I would be measured by the soul.

The mind's the standard of the man."

- a poem often quoted by Joseph Carey Merrick

Sitting on a wooden beige brench
Witness a full freedom of a swam of birds
Feeling overwhelmed by the view
Being a lunatic person as i am
Tired of the imposters on Earth
Never will it fade out or lose
In the mist of someone's heart
Bare a freedom that always up for grab
Tempting on everyone's eyes and heart
Sicken by all the thorn hopes
Survive for the only last breath in life
Never wanted to be notice
Only for underwooden forest
Hearing all the sounds of silence
Tired of being bored and cold
Now is the time
Sooner or later will it be revealed
For me to say Goodbye forever

Just great...my stupidity just fooled me again..it made me walked under the hot sun to tuition just now and in the end i need to walk back.A big notice was attached on the down floor door."KELAS TUISYEN HARI SABTU,8 OKTOBER 2005,DIBATALKAN.KELAS DIBATALKAN SEMPENA HARI TYT NEGERI MELAKA.KELAS HARI AHAD DIJALANKAN SEPERTI BIASA.TERIMA KASIH."daMmit...i forgot that today is the Public Holiday.No wonder i saw no one at downstairs 'lepaking'.Usually there will be 'students' siting on their motorcycle chit-chatting and smoking.Heck...howcome the teacher never give any early notice..tak payah aku penat penat jalan.Same goes to yesterday...me and Zet went for add math class yesterday..and when we reach there...the kakak told us "dik..class cikgu rashid eh?Hari ni takder class...cikgu rashid takder" heck..so we went to the newly open shopping,Y&W,downstairs.Seriously..there's nothing much in there...and then i bumped into my mom.We can even still smell the fresh paint..its choking me to death...while Zet said.."Hey..nice smell eh.." duh...she should get her nose check someday.LOL...

Title was taken from the song 'Wake me up when September ends'-Greenday,i just change it to October...well..i really need to wake myself up..SPM is in early November man.Let's see...ever wonder if i had prepared myself yet..let's put it this way..If you think that i'm prepared then i am if u think that i'm not then it will be..I'm NOT....sounds lame..i think so too.Just ignore it..im just out of words right now.I dont even know when i will be prepared for exams...i never be prepared for exams..and i wonder why.I just dont like exams...but matter of fact is..i dont really hate exams...i just hate the results after d exams..the results will ruin my life.It's like there's a sharp pointed knife hanging up above your head waiting for it's chance to drop on u.How ironic is that.I still watch my favourite TV Shows every day....listen to the radio every day...lazing around my house every day...surf the net..chatting...playing Hexic with Birdie..Friendster-ing...download more MP3s....and so on..it seems like i've finish my SPM...damn.How i wish SPM is over...Wake up!Wake up!...it hasn't begin..how will it be over..

Its an off day for all the Form 5 students today..i dont know why..but maybe its because of the PMR that are going on...Best of luck to Melisa...my dearly cousin who takes the exam this year. Talking about PMR...i did imperfectly badly...i remembered i cried for the whole day man.Ooppss...im not supposed to say this here...but anyway..its the past..no one can change it.People cry when they failed..well maybe not everyone..but a number of them...and i think im one of em'....but taddaa..im still here to face another task in life...i dont take shortcuts when i failed..that is what im proud about myself. Hold on, if you feel like letting go...Hold on, it gets better than you know,Don't stop looking you're one step closer,Don't stop searching it's not over-Good Charlotte,"Hold on".Full of meanings in a piece of song..Recently addicted to James Blunt's and JEM's songs...pretty nice songs..

Walking along a boulevard
Seeing things that are in black and white
Blinded by the whitelight across the street
Stimulating words that can never be found

Between the darkside
Living in an enigma full of curiosity
Feeling left out from where you are standing
It seems like you are almost 6 feet under

Notice me by mistake
Silence surrounded the rather windy cold air
Sleepness nights haunts me down
Leaving me aside in a dark shadow
Unseen,unknown,unreveal

Chasing the aim that can never be reach out
Feeling hopeless and exhausted by the game of life
Story of the endless curiosity never end
To where it will end will never gone

Fading with the mist in the morning
After dawn the nite souls are out
Wandered everywhere without doubt
Now i'm standing here with a burden
Not knowing where or who should i turn to

I saw blindness and deafness everywhere
From where it begins
Will soon be in the final task

The bidding for the Nescafe Kisk-start Session 2 had just closed an hour ago.Didn't manage to see who was at the top of the iPod and Nokia phone list cause i was busy writing a friend's autograph book.As usual..its going to be the end of my schooling days in MGSS soon..so everyone is busy passing around their autograph book for a remembrance...we didn't know what or where we will be in the next 10 or 20 years,we didn't know how long can we live,and we didn't know whether if we can meet again after our last schooling day...that's just sad to leave everything away and just keep it as a memory in our heart.

Went for tuition classes just now...and while walking to there,a Proton Wira car suddenly stop in the middle of the busy road and other cars and busses are honking at him..well ofcause he put on the signals but why on earth he suddenly stopped..i say to myself at that moment,"Heck..he must be nuts or probably he's on the phone..but he dont seem to be holding a phone..oh no..he reverse his car..maybe he wants to ask for direction.."so,i was still curious but i just walk on and out of sudden he honk and wind down his car window...and surprise surprise...its Fatin's brother,a guy with a pair of big glowing eyes(the killer's eyes..LOL),who work in the office at PSI...Well he then asked me to get in and give me a ride to PSI which was only going to be another 5 minutes walking distance...and while in the car we had a short conversation..and i did told him that he shouldn't be stopping in the middle of the road like that..and he said.."lah..tadi nampak kau jalan so aku stop la...on the way skali." Haha...dont have to be too generous la.

Countdown for SPM is getting nearer..closer..and closer..let me see..if im not mistaken,left 43 days.Heck...miserable is what you can best describe me as now.My trial results were totally pathetic except for my English,which i think was quite ok,but others...damn..horrible results especially my Economic paper.Sad to say..i failed badly...*sign* I really hate memorizing facts...i'm just sooo bad at it.It's like whenever i try to memorize something..some other things came across my mind..and all the thing that i memorized got mix up and in the end..it will produce...'crapz'.Hard to believe..u'd better believe it.For now..leave this thing aside..

The bidding at Nescafe Kick-Start starts!!My points was still not enough for the iPod...Arrgghh..i soooo want that iPod...not my luck i guess.Others had a higher point than me.Nevermind..i'll wait for the iPod to drop from the sky one day.LOL...for this second session,i wont be getting anything...need to wait for the next session.Everyone seemed to have like 10-30k..while i dont even have 5k..what the heck...My 6 cans of Nescafe Ice that i won the last session will be posted to me soon...the guy from the Nescafe Kickstart called me the other day...introduced himself as Nicholas on the phone.He even said"..dont worry...we will send u your item.You will receive it at anytime.." In my mind i was saying "duh..why should i be worried??" haha...They are kind enough to send me the 6 cans of that Nescafe Ice all the way from KL..a BIG cheers for them~!

This was the before...looks neat and are in order...

Tadaa...the new look and design of Friendster with the CSS add on...i'm not sure if i matches the colour well...erm..kinda weird,maybe i will change some other time...

So which one is better?Before or After?