Expect The Unexpected When You Almost Reach Out

Alarm at 6am and amazingly i actually could wake up at 6.30am.. thinking that i might be late later meeting my girls for a morning walk/jog/outing. 7.05am.. kinda weird coz there's no reply no message.. no calls.. So i called Tika.. FML plan CANCEL -_-!!

Now im so blur.


ps: i dyed my hair already.. =)

It was weird that i actually wanted to blog something like this now.

I'd hurt people around me and i seriously am not proud of it or what so ever. Why do we need to have feelings in the first place when we know that things wont work out as it was plan to be? Feelings totally is a big issue and role between ourselves. Maybe a girl like me was just being naive and wanting to trying out new things in her life.. but along the way.. she doesn't realized that what she was doing will end up leaving a huge scar on someone. After one there's another. And why do we tend to repeat the same mistakes again?

But right now I think i know what i want.. perhaps. But history seems to get hold on me and making me hard to move forward. Why is that so? I think that life is being unfair to me but to think about it again.. Life is being unfair to many others too so who am i to even wanna complain bout it rite. FML! "Its better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you're not." which i totally agree with as in what's the point if you love that someone who you want them to be and see rather than in reality they are someone that is not like what you think they are? ( confusing? i think so too. FML! )

I admit that i was never good in making decisions. I'll just take whatever was in front of me and hope that it was the correct decision I'd made. But if it wasn't then .... FML.. I'll just move on and look what's in front in store for me. But for sure there's always something will try to pull u back and making u feel that you left something important behind. Those thoughts just wont leave you alone. Sucks rite? I know. But what's the point grieving over something that wasn't worth grieving for?

At this point, i seriously wanna say Sorry to whoever are reading this.. to whoever that you think i had screwed your life.. to whoever that i once loved and cared.. to whoever that you think i had betrayed your trust.. to whoever that think i had made your life more miserable than ever and to whoever that think I am being selfish. I know that the word 'sorry' is just a word and in some point me myself are tired of hearing that word. It was so overused and people took this word for granted. Well.. although you might say that it wasn't my fault (or maybe it was my fault afterall) but i really do hope that things would turn up to be better each day. Don't you? Oh come on.. it wasn't like the end of the world yet. 2012 is still far away. heh. But do live like you're dying cause life might be short and you never know.

-cheers-

FML!

Swollen ankle. I seriously doesn't know why and how i get this.. -_-!!! double FML!!

FML. FML. FML. FML.

Period kept me awake the whole nite and i only begin to fall asleep at 8am just now. ggaaahh! and woke up at 12 something because my stomach was aching again.

I've changed my blog layout and upgraded it to the newer version.. wOOt! =) It's not actually very new.. haha. Im so outdated. Gahh.



Anyway, i went Sibaraku with my girls, Carol and Tika for a Japanese buffet lunch in Makohta Parade last Tuesday. It wasn't that nice for me thou as they don't serve salmon and unagi =/ Sedih.

There's like only a few selection of sushi at the moment.


Teppanyaki.. well.. this one still quite ok. Not bad at all.

And dessert.. Er.. only the apple was nice. Others was like.. beh jiak wan. Too dry and not sweet. FML.

After the lunch, we went shopping. Bought a top from Kitschen. =) and drop by Kenny's Roger to meet Zul and get free muffins from him. Me likey~


PS : To u know who u are, Im really sorry and wanna thank you for what u have done for me for the past months. I think that im crazy.. u should have known it from the beginning rite? Although it wasn't a long period of time, i'm still glad that I've known u. =) But..why are u gone in FB????

I've abandon my baby blog for a long time.. i know.. i was in a zillion lazy mood to even blog. There's so many things running through my head for the past few months that i cant even put those in words. I was freaking tired of things happening around me and it got me thinking about it over and over again. Sometimes I don't even know what i was worrying about. But for sure what I know now is that i have to be much more independent and stop putting much hope on something that I am unsure of. Great disappointment and letdown are too much for someone to handle no matter how strong that person is. One day that person might just breakdown and feel like no one actually understands and was left all alone thinking of those answers to all questions. FML.


Welcome 2010 and Goodbye 2009. Let bygones be bygones and no matter 2009 was a good year for you or was a goddamn hell sucky year.. Congrats.. another year ahead for you to make it better and not suckier perhaps. As for me... 2009 was kinda bumpy.. I was happy, excited, confuse, disappointed, tired, and the list goes on. Gonna do a recap on 2009 then..


Well 2009 was the year of Ox..


I think this was the best family photo taken on the year 2009. =) I *heart* them so much.


Hang out with a bunch of unknown friendly and crazy people at my elder brother's place..

Like seriously.. I dont even know anyone except for my brother. I do had a hard time fitting in as im still studying and all of them already had a job and are party clubbing people. And i'm the anti-social kind of girl. LOL!! FML!



Went for Sushi King RM2 Promo with a few tutorial mates. I just simply *heart* salmon and unagi. =]


Appeared in one of my tutorial mates' print ad in one of the assignment. We was trying not to laugh thou as those bruises seems so real.

Went for an healthy activity.. cycling at Bukit Cahaya.. I was so tired can. I am not a sports person and cycling uphill really kills me. Somemore we cycled in the rain.. got ourselves all dirty wet and sweat.. gosh.

But it was an achievement to be proud of as we totally explored the whole Bukit Cahaya with only our bicycles.


Dare myself to get a new haircut.. (finally) Which made me look damn weird and funny altogether for the whole first and second week. Almost everyone teased me and even my younger brother was laughing at me whenever he saw me. -_-! FML.


Internship at SK Brothers Realty for 3 months. First few months was like hell to me. Switching me in different departments and do multiple work.


Celebrated my 21st Birthday =) with a bunch of friends and my family. I *heart* them.


A post in 2009 that had the most comment.. Horny Couple where people debating whether it was just a normal Public Display of Affection (PDA) or what.. -__-!!


Went an outing with my ex-colleagues to Ampang Look Out Point.


Breath taking scenery for of coz. Me likey~


Sat Eye on Malaysia for the first time.. =]

Felt mild earthquake for the second time in Malacca. Then meeting and catching up with old buddies.. Get close to them and honestly i learn many new things and get to know more people.


I hang out with them most of the time when i was in Malacca for the weekends and semester break. We celebrated Birthdays.. Hari Raya..and even Christmas together. There's plenty of pictures in my Facebook thou. We visited the Zoo... go for Karaoke most of the time ( ps : I cant sing).. Went Arena for the first time... go for Bowling.. ..


2009 have been wonderful and no doubt when u met with so many wonderful people and some bad arse blardy hell people ( rather not to say who ).


Besides all those wonderful moments.. There are still one part of my life that i could not understand. Letting go a relationship wasn't easy for sure but I have been thinking for so long before i even dare to let him go and instill some selfishness in me so that I could get what i want and not what others want me to do or become. It was confusing and rather complicated can. Disappointments keeps adding in ur head and you feel there's distance in your heart with him that you could barely hold on to it anymore. Patience do have its limit. Same goes to mine.




For sure its not me or him that should be blame in our fail relationship. I'm still glad and wanna thank him for giving me the experience and had helped me in various kind of ways for this whole past years. And i wanted to say sorry too for whatever i did that you think was wrong and i know it hurt you so much but i hope for at least you had learn something from this and remember not to repeat the same mistakes again in your next relationship. I know i did learn alot..